Published: Tuesday, September 29 2015
Written by Diversity Richmond
Sylvia DeVoss is an artist who is changing photography one click at a time! A mom and grandmom dedicated to her family, friends and all humans equally.
We saw Sylvia DeVoss's open letter on social media and were so inspired, we asked for permission to reprint it.
August 23rd would have been my 40th wedding anniversary. I married this really cool guy in Maymont Park. Many friends and family from both sides were there. It was so hot, and we were so young. Of course we didn't know we were young. We thought we were grown-ups.
I also thought I was heterosexual. Or at least I prayed I was. I knew shortly after our wedding day, it was a huge mistake. And it was entirely my mistake, not his. I tried so long to just fit in. Never felt like I did ... nor did I feel any connection to our friends' wives when we would get together for cookouts or other gatherings. I use to watch them and try to understand how they were happy.
I tried to be a good wife ... but I sucked.
We separated and found out we were pregnant, in that order, on the same day ... and I was petrified for the baby's future. How in the hell was I going to raise a child when I couldn't even be a wife?
We got thru the separation and pregnancy with tons of drama and hurt that comes with the territory. We had a daughter who we both loved with all our hearts. We were cruel to each other for a couple of years until we figured out how to both love our daughter and not mix that up with our crap.
At some point we became friends again ... only better than when we first met. History together does that, I think!
When I first came out ... (to myself), I had planned on ending my life. It wasn't something I could live with. I didn't feel worthy of taking air from this planet as I felt others would put it to better use. I was a grandmother when I realized I was gay ... and slowly started accepting it. That was around 10 years ago and I have worked on my life so much since.
I'm so very thankful for having gotten married, having a daughter and going through everything I've been through because my life truly rocks. There have been many key people that have carried me through some mighty dark times ... folks that I can never fully repay.
No one on this earth could, would, or should judge another about anything. I have judged myself more harshly than the best of preachers could possibly fathom.
I don't have any remarkable words of wisdom to bestow upon you all at this point. I just wanted to say ... with all my heart and soul ... I am positive our only job on this planet is to love each other.
Really, really feel it's that simple.
Happy anniversary to my ex! Thank you for all you have done for every one of your kids and friends.